We met one evening in Oxford, just over a year since my brother, Dylan died, and we sat up all night talking about our grief. She had lost her father a few years before and by accident, we found ourselves together, with the privacy and freedom to talk about what was on our minds. I still get an overpowering sense of warmth and optimism whenever I think of Cathy.
Talking to someone else who had been bereaved changed my life and filled a void that nothing else could. For the first time I realised that I was not alone and that the feelings that I was going through were natural. There are all kinds of thoughts and emotions that race through your head, including fear, selfishness, helplessness, pride, nostalgia and anything else you care to consider. These feelings can come all at the same time and they need to be addressed somehow. Years of experience (before and after Dylan's death) have shown me that the only way to deal with intense feelings is to talk about them and think about them. Anything which makes this easier will be a great help.
I think I'm now at the stage where I can talk about Dylan and his death and its effect on me safely. This blog isn't so much about my needs, but about other people's. If one person reads this blog and finds their own grief just a little bit easier to handle then this blog will have served its purpose.
